What happens as you walk down the sidewalk and see a cute girl walking towards you? You are out on the streets of New York City just running a few errands. Yet, out of the crowd of dull faces she emerges like a light. She’s at one end of the sidewalk and you’re walking towards her from the other end. Before you two meet at the middle of the sidewalk how do you feel about introducing yourself? Are you going to see her again under your own terms? Are you going to wait for some miracle second chance meeting?
There are a few points you’ll need to incorporate into your arsenal of game in order to achieve your intended outcome. I’ll give you some tools to help make things happen rather than waiting for things to happen.
Eye contact will allow you to hold her attention. You can lock eyes with her from down the street and wave. If you guys get close to each other and lock eyes, put your hand out and introduce yourself. Make sure to smile initially to demonstrate a positive frame. Holding eye contact and breaking it at certain intervals to relieve tension demonstrate experience.
Smile to show that you are not needy. If you walk up and introduce yourself and look like you’re having a bad time than what does that convey? It conveys neediness. It indicates to the girl that you have no emotional outlets and that you need her to fill that void. It’s an intuitive decision read by our unconscious minds that make first impressions lasting.
Body Language is also huge in generating attraction during an initial meet. Have your shoulders back and down. If you slouch you will tend to look unsure of yourself. If your hands are in your pockets you will come off as being insecure. Speak with your hands and emphasize points by using hand gestures. You can watch anyone with attractive qualities and mimic their hand motions; such as comedians, actors and musicians.
Tonality which is engaging will draw her into conversation with you. If you speak softly than you risk ruining the moment that could be created between you two. Speaking too softly will only amplify the fact that there are people around. Pull her out of her everyday routine and keep her engaged with tonality that fluctuates and ends with conviction.
The difference between meeting women in the night as oppose to meeting them in the daytime is simple. People need a reason as to why you came over to speak to them during the day. It is alright to initiate a conversation by asking for directions but how do you keep her engaged? Tell her the truth. “I didn’t really need directions; I just thought you were cute…” This will give you enough time to talk about recent topics of interest, banter, and give you reason as to why you should get her number.
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Bantering is attractive because it shows that you’re used to being social and you are used to being the center of attention. Not only are you used to being the center of attention but you’re also used to being able to make people feel comfortable around each other. The best way to start a conversation and continue it for the first initial stages is by bantering. This will allow people to warm up around you. It will allow you to make new friends quickly and effectively. Being the social ambassador and the bridge between friends makes you a leader. Being a leader gives you social status.
We know women are attracted to social status and personal value. When you banter you show traits of a person who values themselves. Bantering isn’t logical and being able to banter show’s that because you are able to have fun that you are able to say whatever you want, whenever you want. Women want a man that they can be themselves around.
Have you ever been in a long-term relationship and realized the closer you grew to each other the more comfortable you both were in just acting like little kids around each other? You can create this feeling of knowing each other by effectively bantering.
The reason why it shows so much and so little is being said is just that. No real content is being transferred and so non-neediness and non-approval seeking behavior are being conveyed. Asking “Where are you from?” or “What do you do?” may come off as being needy and approval seeking. Since someone of high social status has his needs met from his entire group of friends and family than why would he need to too seek approval elsewhere? He should have options and his emotional needs met elsewhere. Through having solid emotional connections with many people is a way of living a life full of abundance and non-neediness. Remember, you do not need these interactions and by bantering you’ll be able to most effectively convey that verbally.
Banter, what is banter some might ask? It’s a tool any social person should use in the beginning of any interaction. Banter is fun, playful light-hearted conversation. When you banter there should be no-content actually transferred between each other. Meaning that whatever it is you guys are talking about doesn’t need to make logical sense. It’s the kind of conversation you have with your friends and your younger siblings. It’s usually humor driven and performed by the socially fit. The more people you are comfortable bantering with, the more social status you will achieve.
Some people like to put themselves into a role-playing situation when bantering. If I tell my friend that I want to take him out on a dude date but, I say it with a smile on my face than it’s not taken seriously. Bantering should be the opposite of being serious. Bantering is also performed when you are joking around and talk in a way that people will know that you are just kidding. Usually with a big smile on your face your voice will change and become more light and fun. Most people can tell if you’re smiling when talking with you over the phone. This is because your voice becomes much more vibrant and excited when smiling.
There are few key points that will allow you to recognize when you or someone else is bantering. Smiling is huge when bantering because it allows you to stay positive and fun. Make sure you smile and allow for whoever you are speaking with understand that you are just kidding around and or just messing with them.
Also make sure that you are not answering and asking the boring everyday questions. Instead, create some challenges and change the questions into interesting ones. “What, do you do?” becomes “What do you do…for fun?” Now, you won’t be judging what she does for work instead you talk about how much fun it would be for you guys to go out and dance on top of the bar.
When she asks you a question and you feel like you need to infuse some more banter fun into the conversation redirect her question with a silly answer. “I am writer” becomes “I am a bachelorette party stripper but I also do barmitzvahs”.
Also make sure that you are not looking for a response. If you’ve ever told a joke and hoped to the god that someone would laugh usually people wouldn’t. Yet, if you say that joke (even knowing that it’s not funny) and deliver it with no intention of making any laugh except yourself than it’ll come off as funny. Laughing after a banter line will numb the sting of anyone not laughing a long with your joke.
Remember that initially banter is used to break the tension. People laugh when they feel confronted and humor displays a personality which is non-threatening. Humor is the way to most hearts out there and if you can be serious and be silly at the right times, you will be able to show a certain savoir fare most women long for. The only time you shouldn't be joking around is when she shares something with you she has an emotional connection to. In this case, you'll be able to accept her and build rapport.
